The holiday season is nearly upon us.  This is the time of year when grieving people often feel dread and sorrow about the very events and traditions that formerly brought happiness. 
As every grieving person handles loss in their own way, each one of us observes holidays in our own way in time of bereavement.  There simply is no one right way to experience the holidays.  Some people find great comfort in being with other people, others prefer solitude to camaraderie.  Some find meaning in following cherished traditions, and others avoid them because their associations are now tinged with loss.
Plan ahead for the holidays: The first step in planning is to listen to yourself...what will help you most at this time?  You may have strong memories and powerful feelings.  Accept this as normal, but prepare for it.  Anticipate the pleasures and the stresses of events, and select those you want to participate in.  If you expect to be lonely, arrange supportive companionship.  If you can't bear the thought of the entire extended family visiting, let the family know of your needs.
Accommodate your plans to your new limits: Most grieving people have significantly lowered physical stamina and emotional reserve.  Perhaps you can't get every decoration out this year.  Accept these limits as temporary, and good enough for this year.  Choose to put your energy into the things that matter most of you.
Accept that the holidays will be different this year: The holidays are often filled with unrealistic expectations that may overwhelm you.  You may need to revisit your goals and find a balance between continuity and change.  Many people find a special comfort in establishing a new holiday tradition that honors the memory of their loved ones.
Recognize that other family members or friends may have struggles, too: Look for opportunities to discuss your feelings and wishes with others who may also be grieving for your loved one.  Try to respect their choices, if they are different from yours.  You all may need to make compromises.
If the holidays have always been hard for you: Use this transition in your life to try something completely new...an untraditional-tradition.  Perhaps you have never taken the occasion to travel or create a new experience on your own.  As challenging as loss can be, it can bring momentum to grow and to try something new. 
For all of us, whether the holidays are a time of personal significance or not, it can be a season in which we reflect on what we do to cherish as we journey through grief.